Want to Change Your Life? Change Your Agreements

Much has been lauded in popular culture about our thoughts running our lives. We are frequently told that changing our thoughts can transform our lives. We are told that the law of attraction can make us rich, happy and spiritual. And this happens by thinking positive thoughts so that we draw these objects (money, cars, mates) or states of being (love, peace of mind, spirituality) to ourselves.

The opposite must also be true. If we do not have what we want, we must not be thinking (attracting) correctly. There are many so-called “experts” who continue to promote various forms of this philosophy as being all we need to be successful. Variations on this theory also include taking action, and/or inspired action. So why are so many still not rich, happy, peaceful, driving the car of their dreams, living in the home of their dreams, with their soul mate and 2 perfect children?

What I refer to as Agreements. Yes, agreements that we have made with ourselves and others, which constitute the basic operating system for our lives.

What is an agreement? Agreement ranges in meaning from a mutual understanding to a binding obligation. Many of our agreements are unhealthy and counter to our achieving our dreams. Therefore, if we want to improve our lives, it is necessary that we identify those unhealthy and counter agreements, and change them. Sounds easy enough.

Let’s look at an agreement a friend of mine recently uncovered. She had an agreement that she looked like her mother. Sure, so what? A lot of people look like their mother. But wait, her unconscious heard “like my mother”. Different message entirely. So, her agreement became, “I am just like my mother.” When did this agreement occur? It started before she even had verbal acuity. As a baby, people looked at her and said, “You look just like your mother!”

My friend heard this remark most of her life. Not just her childhood or teen years, but as an adult. In fact, her first husband said, on a regular basis, “you are just like your mother.” He never said that when she did something he liked.

What was so harmful about that? Her mother was very abusive to my friend. She was fiscally irresponsible. She could not be counted on to do what she said she would do or was expected to do.

My friend determined at an early age never to be like her mother. Yet, despite her best efforts, she was a lot like her mother in many ways. She never had as much money as she wanted. She was abusive to her oldest two children until the birth of a third child, at which time she made a decision to stop her abusive ways and heal her relationship with the children.

For years every time my friend looked at herself in the mirror, she saw her mother looking back. The truth is that, upon picture comparison, the two looked nothing alike. They did not have the same coloring, the same face shape or even the same eye color. How had she ever thought that she looked like her mother? From her earliest moments on this earth she had been told that she looked like her. This became an agreement that she not only looked like her mother, she was just like her mother.

How many people do you know who have the same or a similar agreement? What does my friend do to change her life? She has to change her agreement with herself, her family and anyone else with whom she has this agreement. The truth is that when she changes this agreement with herself, others will change their perception of her.

The most important thing is that her whole life can change by changing this agreement. How does she change her agreement? She writes out a statement similar to: I am like the best characteristics of my mother, and free of her negative traits. I have the love and forgiveness of Jesus. I have the creative business generating and financial characteristics of Bill Gates. These statements become her new agreement(s).

Until she sees herself in this new light, it will be necessary to remind herself of these new agreements on a regular basis. However, these changes will manifest in her life in seemingly miraculous ways.

So, you can change your agreements and change your life.

Dr. Richard London, world renowned author and business consultant for over 25 years, tells us what our future really looks like. He provides Simple Solutions to creating Balance and Abundance in Finances, Family, Health and Peace. For a Free Consultation or more information, visit his site